Wednesday, March 18, 2009

struggling

with the fact that Gavin is accomplishing so many things these days. Even though I am soooo incredibly happy for him and proud of these accomplishments, it makes me a tad sad that there are a few less things he needs me for. For example, today (and apparently for some time), he logged himself onto Webkinz....spelling his username and password all on his own. Now this may seem silly to others but for me, it just kinda struck a funny chord.
Struggling with parenting in a different way. How do you get your child to be themselves and do the things they are good at without the fear of being ridiculed for being different? Not just from the kids at school...mostly his siblings?
Here's a little background info...Zack and Reilly are both pretty good at their respective sports. They have somehow convinced Carsyn that he isn't good at sports and they also mock the more creative artsy things he is interested in. Sports wise we don't have a lot of options right in the town we live in. Anything other than hockey, soccer or baseball has to be driven to at least 45 minutes away. There are no options other than dance on the creative side. So, I was thrilled to find a children's theatre in a city about an hour and twenty minutes away from here (one way) that is offering a summer drama camp for 2 weeks that Carsyn could take part in. He seemed all gung ho, I registered and paid today after school, only to have him come to me in tears 10 minutes later saying he didn't want to do it cause the boys were going to tease him (the last day ends with a performance I told him we'd all come watch). Dam near broke my heart and frustrated me all at the same time. I really don't know how to handle this? I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't really want to but I want him to know that it's more than ok to be who he wants to be. I feel horrible for him! I'm sure this will keep me up for a night or two!
Struggling with being a working mom too a little bit. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that Brian is the one at home and it's not me. The silly thing is, I am not missing out on any time with the kids as they are gone at the same time I am...it's kinda weird. Although, being awarded the "stretching yourself giraffe" at our staff meeting the other day helped reaffirm a little that I am in the right place. I guess working with these high needs kids is catching up with me!
Struggling with this upcoming trip too if you can believe it! As excited as I am, I am nervous about getting on a plane and leaving my kids behind...is that silly? I know they will be in great hands with my Mom and once we get to Vegas I'll be too busy to miss them but still...please tell me I am not alone?
Struggling with weight loss issues. This is nuts, I know but I am frustrated it's not coming off faster. I didn't even try to lose the first bit but now that I am...I seem to be stuck! A plateau I guess and it's normal I know but grrrrr!!! I had high hopes of losing 10 more the month of March(before our trip) and there is no way that's going too happen! I guess I should just celebrate the fact that I have dropped 2 pants sizes since November.

Thanks for reading/listening. I really needed to share...get this off my shoulders.


6 comments:

Amber said...

Hard being a Mom but you are awesome!!! Congrats on dropping to pant sizes!!! That is AMAZING!!! WTG!!!

grover said...

Hey Laura!
Wow, that is tough, I wonder if a little heart to heart with Z about the situation could help-the others may follow his cue if becomes a little more encouraging in regards to what C likes to do?

Way to go on loses 2 sizes! I know all to well the struggles--you should be super proud of yourself :-)

BTW I get antsy everytime the whole family is not together for a period of time-I think it is natural.

V

MonaS! said...

I feel your pain. We are having similar struggles at our place. But figuring out how to make the kids feel good about what they do is tough. Hang in there girl!

Shanna said...

HUGS! I am quickly learning that as being a parent is as heartbreaking as it is heartwarming. You just want what's best for them but it seems like the world is against you some days.

redmom said...

It's normal to feel worried about leaving your kids, but like you said they'll be in good hands!!

From the sounds of it this vacation is just what you need, so enjoy it!

Congrats on dropping 2 pant sizes that's awesome!! Keep at it, you're doing great!

Jocie said...

(((HUGS)))