Tuesday, February 6, 2007

PLEASE tell me I am "normal"

I feel I should add a discalimer here before I begin so people know ahead of time how much I love my boys and what being a Mom means to me. What you are about to read is just some talking "out loud" as it helps me sort things out sometimes. Besides, I really don't need any more internal dialogue. SO, here goes...
Why does being a Mom seem more difficult lately than ever before? Could it be that the boys are older with more demanding schedules? I don't know what it is but man...I feel like (let me see how many cliches I can use here): I'm talking to a brick wall, I sound like a stuck record, I talk till I am blue in the face...ok I might be able to go on but I'll stop cause you get the idea!! It's the same stuff over and over and I am at a loss for what to do to change it? Perhaps I am trying too hard and overthinking the solution...? I thought up until recently I was doing an ok job of raising these boys to be kind/caring/loving/courteous/responsible people....am I really? They've begun to expect more and more in reagrds to privileges without doing anything in return...that has never been okay here before. Today, one of my sons had math homework-long division. He was having trouble with it so I sat to help for a bit and then needed to take another son to soccer. Thinking like my Mom (gasp) I took the calculator from the kitchen drawer with me. Lo and behold, I get back and go to return the calculator to the drawer and the one from the basement, that looks exactly like the one I took, is in the drawer....he was going to cheat on his homework! He's 9!! Needless to say, he's being pinished. I think part of the problem too is that Brian and I haven't been consistent enough in what the consequences are...we discipline, just not the same. Let me try to explain this: one of us will take away a really good privilege for a minor 'crime' and the other one will take away a crappy privilege for a more severe 'crime...does that make sense. It doesn't help matters either I am sure that he is gone during the week and only home on weekends. We are currently working on developing a system that the boys will have to earn their privileges
in advance by completing daily check lists and chores. Rather than taking them away, they'll have to earn them first....hopefully it'll work. I am also working on a system to help get all members of the family organized and on track so we can all reap the rewards of spending more time together. I want so badly for the boys to have traditions and connections to things that go 'way back' like I do. I want more Norman Rockwell instead of the Osbornes!!
Please don't take away from this that I am a crazy person who shouldn't have kids(although if you call the Men in White, I could really use a vacation) or that we live like the Bundee's. I *think* we're fairly normal. Just a slight detour of course I guess.
Wewph...that felt better, thanks.


jessi said...

you? crazy??? no....I don't believe it...LOL!! I think you're a fantastic mom taching those boys really great values!!! every now and than families come into new phases...kind of like children's phases individually!! and just like with those you have to grow and adapt and get the groove...and than it changes again...LOL!! but just make sure you chant to yourself, frequently throghout the day..." i rock...I sooo rock...I totally rock!!! cause you do!!!
ciao for now!

Mary P. said...

Venting is always a good thing, vent away, I can so relate!!

Anonymous said...

YOUR NORMAL girl! lol

Stacy said...

so absolutely normal have you read a book called bringing up boys by james dobson that will show you what you are going thru is all in there, and then some lol!!